10 Ways to Own Ganondorf
by The Dragon-wolf Omega
Summary: Have a certain Dark Lord visiting Hyrule, or your local neighborhood? Well this long-winded Public notice will tell you ways to deal with our hated warlock of Hyrule. You too can be the hero of your town like Link!
1. Sample

Got bored, and realized I haven't posted many stories I have in storage. I really suck, I know, and if I want to start a major project, I have to be more committed to my typing.

Enjoy this Legend of Zelda story I thought up.

Ways to kill Ganondorf

Hello, I'm Alex, SK23 insain portion of his mind. I have a important public announcement for the land of Hyrule. It's about a dark warlock named Ganondorf. You know the guy who takes over Hyrule, but gets his rear handed to him by Link. Yeah, that warlock. Well people, the Master Sword isn't the only way to own Ganondorf. Fights in the Smash Mansion, and living with the nutjob showed many ways to defeat him. Here's the top 10 ways to be just like Link, and save Hyrule when you see the warlock walking around your village.

10. A Hug Always Triumphs!

"Alex!" the dark lord of Hyrule was glaring at me, who had the last piece of pie in all of the Realm of Trophies, "Give me the pie!"

"Awgh," it looked like Ganondorf slept on the wrong side of the bed...or got owned by Link, "Someone had a bad day? What was it? Link tossed you off the Bridge of Eldin again, got shot by a stray missile from Samus, or had his pie swiped by Pikachu again?"

"All three if you need to know," Ganondorf grew more angry and his fist had purple flames on it, "Have to strangle that mouse and his trainer one of these days," then the oath turned to me, "Give me that pie!"

"I think Peach could help," and conveniently, Peach was nearby watering flowers, turning to see Ganon in a bad mood.

"need something Alex," the Princess came toward me staring at Ganon who looked ready to strike.

"I think our friend here needs a hug," I smiled, and the flame on Ganon's hand vanished, along with all of his rage.

"EEEER....no need," Ganon looked worried at the two of us as we both closed in, "It's all right, you can have the pi-"

From outside, looking towards the kitchen window, purple flashes were seen, along with burning sounds, and screaming.

Back inside, a burnt corpse was on the ground twitching, along with a horrified Peach, and an amazed me.

"Now for pie," I didn't care about the Dark Lord now, I want pie.

9. Something Small and Fluffy

"Move it idiots," Ganondorf was in a rush to get to his next match, with Link of course.

Thump!

"Hey," Kirby was mad that Ganondorf kicked him like that, but the warlock was more pissed.

"Little marshmallow," ganondorf spat at Kirby, "Your so tiny I need a magnifying glass to see you!"

"that's Olemar!" Kirby pouted as Olemar nearby started to cry and ran off.

"Well at least pick up my Care Bear doll on your lap, and give it back."

"I don't have to do she- huh?" Ganondorf looked down, and his eyes widened, "AAAAAHH!"

Ganondorf leaped up hitting his head on the ceiling, and ran off the wrong way, quitting his match against Link and left Kirby with his mouth opened.

Kirby picked up his Care Bear doll and looked in the direction Ganondorf ran off to.

"I love Care Bears more!"

8. Sinking Isn't Swimming.

Ragafragarkjoiapjvknpwjeiokjfakprjesioqjoipvnafpj!

"What the hell is that noise outside," Fox was trying to sleep over the yelling.

"It's Link and ganondorf arguing again," Falco answered and put his head in his pillow.

"I, and everyone else knows that ganondorf always loses, why does he even bother," Fox looked towards the window, and was not going to sleep anytime soon. Some laughs would be nice.

Fox decided to jump out the window, and see the amusing fight.

"Why bother," Link held his hands behind his head, "I've owned you many, many times, but you still keep insisting on having these pointless contests.

"And I'll keep wearing you down until I win," Ganondorf laughed, "Now let's go."

Link knew he wasn't going to get out of this, "Fine, but I chose something this time."

"What!" ganondorf yelled, "GRRRR!"

"Ganondorf, please stopping bitching and just let Link pick something," Fox really wanted to see how badly Ganondorf loses this time.

"GRRRRR, fine!" Ganondorf reluctantly agreed, and Link headed to the back of the mansion.

After Ganondorf and Fox reached up with Link, they were at the pool.

"Why are we here?" Ganondorf demanded, with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

"We're going to swim," Link walked to the edge of the pool, and waited for Ganondorf, but he stayed motionless.

"Ganondorf?" Fox waved his paw in front of the warlock, but no answer.

"Dingus?" Link waved his hand, but Ganondorf refused to move, even being mocked by Link.

"What, wait," Fox started to chuckle, "Ganondorf can't swim!"

"Really," Link grinned as he went to Fox, and whispered into his ear. Fox nodded, and both went behind Ganondorf.

"3...2...1...," Fox quietly counted down, "Push!"

Both tackled into Ganondorf at high speed, pushing the Dark Lord into the water.

"Help! Help!" Ganondorf was flailing on the water, "I'm drowning!

"Swim!" Link laughed at the way Ganondorf was thrashing aimlessly around the water.

"I don't know how-girglegirgle," Ganondorf was now underwater.

"Sinking isn't swimming," Fox laughed knowing something really important.

Bubbles were coming from the water, along with Ganondorf's cape and pants.

"Oh! This is just great!" Link laughed even louder, taking the clothes and throwing them far away.

"Dude!" Fox yelled so Ganon could hear, "It's only 4 ft of water, you 7 ft or something.!"

A big bubble came from the water, and Ganondorf head popped out.

Though Link and Fox were now gone.

"Hello?" Ganondorf yelled for anyone nearby, "Can someone get my pants please?"

----------

If you want to post some suggestions to torment Ganondorf, please review, and post your ideas. Only the best ones will be taken, and one shall be honored with its own chapter as the number one way to own ganondorf!


	2. Room of No Return

More tormenting goodness.

I decided to scrap the Top 10 idea until more than 20 suggestions are given. You can give more than one idea, and can review as much as can allow per chapter.

You can call the first chapter as what the list would look like when the goal is reached, or surpassed.

Now, an idea given by Velk...

All fear the the Room of No Return!

Due to Alex going high on sugar, I'll take over.

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" Alex ran around the room, more accurately, on the walls.

Well, ignoring the noise, let's learn about the Room of No Return in the Smash Manchan.

Many theories were made of the exclusion of Mewtwo, Roy, and the other Super Smash Brothers Meelee characters that never made it to Brawl. But the truth of the missing Smashers was due to a room that Master Hand marked as the Room of No Return.

Each wandered in that room, and a blood curdeling scream was heard, then silence.

Only one man has survived the room. That man stepped in their, made manly sounds, and walked out of the room everyday.

"Hu-ya!" Captain Falcon's voice was heard in the room.

Truth be told, the Room of No Return was Captain Falcon's room.

This also explains why all female smashers stay away from Captain Falcon. He'll take you to his room, and you'll never leave again.

Now let's see, for people with room's or houses like this, how Ganondorf be defeated.

"Toon Link?" Lucus turned to the grumbling cartoon swordskid, "Tell me what are we doing with Ganondorf's undroos (Another word for underware), his pants, a R.O.B Sentry, a remote control, a piece of cake, and this book of world records?"

Toon Link turned, and glared at Lucus, "First, my name is Link, not Toon Link! Second, we're going to get rid of Ganondorf as revenge for my almost acomplished "World's largest tower of cards"! Third, I'm hoping to see if I won "World's Longest Sword"! Lastly, I'm hungry."

A vacuum sound was heard, and the cake Toon Link was about to eat went flying, then the sound of munching.

"KIRBY!" Toon Link shot an arrow, but Pikachu was going down the hallway with a book in his hands, and was in the line of fire.

SUCK! SUCK!

"mmmmm, Kirby! mmmmmm, What are you doing! mmmmm, and when is the last time you brushed your teeth!" Pikachu yelled from inside the puffball as Kirby ate both Pikachu, and the arrow.

Kirby spit Pikachu out, and the mouse turned to Toon Link.

"What's with Ganondorf's underpants, and pants?"

"We're going to throw it in the Room- I mean Captain Falcon's room, and make Ganondorf go get them, and maybe get rid of the meany forever!"

"Muyahahahahahahahaha*cough*hahahahahaha!" Toon Link laughed evily with Lucus, Pikachu, and Kirby stepping back from the angry cartoon.

Pikachu ears perked up registering the plan, "Forever? Awsome! Payback for sending Pichu in their last tornement."

"But how are you going to get his pants and underware in their," Kirby asked, "and can't Ganondorf get another pair?"

"Eeeeerr, ummmm, Ganondorf uses the same pair of pants and underware everyday, and never washes," Toon Link covered his nose as he openned the box containing the clothes as stink lines came from the box.

"Ewww!" Lucus turned away along with Kirby, and Pikachu.

"R.O.B Sentry," Toon Link gave the robot the box, "Go in the Room of No Return, and throw this box somewhere far from the entrance."

"beep," the robot beeped in understanding, and bravely went in Captain Falcon's room.

Moments later, a thud was heard, and happy beeping was heard. Then...

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Then silence, and the R.O.B Sentry was never seen again.

"EEEEEEEH!" Lucus screamed as a third grade schoolgirl would.

"Hmmmm," Toon Link ignored the death of the brave robot, and was reading the record book, "World's Longest Sword...Record Keeper held by Link! 5 ft!"

Captain Falcon bursted through the door from his room, "Does a hot girl need saving?"

"No Captain Falcon," Pikachu waved CF off, "It was jsut Lucus."

"Oh," Captain Falcon had his head down and walked off.

Meanwhile...

"AHHH!" Ganondorf sighed as he came out of the shower in his room, "Nothing better than taking a nice shower before another atempt on Link's life."

Ganondorf walked out with a towel wrapped around his body, thank god, and went to his bed where he always puts his clothes.

"Now to wear my lucky underware and clothes that I wear everyday," Ganondorf looked down at his bed, and saw a note where his clothes used to be.

Outside

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

All the nearby birds, by nearby, I mean in a 30 mile radius, flew north, and froze to death, as the people in Canada cheered for a great feast.

Back to Ganondorf...

He read the letter, as he discovered the location of his lucky clothes. Well, his pants and underware in general.

But his rage turned to fear as he saw the name of the room.

"Captain Falcon's room?" Ganondorf's face turned pale. No one has evered left alive other than Captain Falcon himself. Many say it leads to the pits of hell. Other think that life is unsustainible in there. Some even say Tingle resides in the room, and captures anyone except Captain Falcon, and endlessly touches their butts.

*Shiver* Toon Link shivered from his room that he returned to, "Why do I feel that someone said Tingle."

"But I need my lucky underpants and pants," Ganondorf thought, "but I'll never survive in their. Wait! I'm the Dark Lord. What am I afraid of. I've been killed many times, and keep coming back," Ganondorf held a pose as the door openned, and today's messenger, Samus, came in with a notice from Master Hand.

Ganondorf jumped in surprise with the intrution.

"Your match starts in-" Samus started to speak before...

...Ganondorf's towel fell down.

"AAAAAAHH!" Samus ran out of the room, being mentally scarred for life.

Ganondorf picked his towel up, and realized that he had no other clothes.

He then turned to a box marked as "Smash Ball" on it and sighed.

"Worst that can happen is either someone seeing me in the nude, or I get sued for plagerizing Snake's box-crawling stunts."

Ganondorf jumped into the box, and started moving the box out of the room.

The Encounter music from MGS series was playing as Ganondorf avoided everyone noticing him.

He went down a hall, seeing Ike walking by.

"I've got to write my sister a letter," Ike muttered to himself as he turned the hall.

"He writes to his sister like 20 times a day," Ganondorf thought as he went up the stairs.

Ganondorf turned the hall after passing the candy machine, but retreated back to the machine as Nana, and Popo came walking down the same hall.

"EEERR, why did Master hand make the machine buttons so high," Nana couldn't reach the buttons where she was at.

"I know," Popo hopped up onto the box, and clapped randomly, "I'll use this box and type the numbers."

Ganondorf refrained from sending Popo up, and up, and up with a Warlock Punch as druel came from the ceiling of the box.

"Popo, don't druel like that, the Candy isn't out yet," Nana informed the twin as the machine made a waterfall of candy fall to the ground.

Ganondorf made his escape as the twins made a mad dive at the candy.

With music still playing, Ganondorf needed to turn the hall, but saw Red, and Snake, with Red using the Codex.

"With those tips, you'll make a fine Pokemon, since Generals also lead their armies as you lead your Pokemon," the Cornel was heard on the other side of the Codex.

"Awsome!" Red cheered as Snake groaned.

"You done yet," Snake groaned again as he heard the click of the Codex, and he sighed.

"Well off to train some more," Red gleefully said as he walked towards the Ganondorf's direction, walked past it, but stepped backwards, "Snake, when did you have two boxes?"

Snake pulled a cigar out already, but turned to the Trainer, "Two boxes. Is someone copying me!"

"Duno," Red responded as he turned to the box with ganondorf sweating buckets, "but the box is right here."

Snake turned to the box, and walked up to it, "I'm sueing the iddiot who's in this box."

Ganondorf only had a cape, and a towel to use.

When Snake lifted the box, a bundled up towel and cape lie on the ground.

"I guess it must have been someone's laundry basked," Snake studied the clothes.

"Though to make sure no one is in th e clothes, let's poke it!" Red cheered as he pulled a pitch fork from out of nowhere, and violently stabbed the towel, and cape, but no screams of agony or pain were heard, "Meh, your right."

"I'm out of here," Snake walked off, with Red following.

"It's good they didn't search in the box," Ganondorf sighed as he held onto the ceiling of the box.

Going down one more hallway, Ganondorf finally made it to the Room of No Return, or Captain Falcon's room if anyone forgot whose room it is.

Ganondorf lifted the box up a little, and hesitated to open the door. Well, he came this far with no clothes, and lawyers threatening his career, he wasn't going to stop now.

Ganondorf turned the knob, and scurried into the room before the door shut with a terminal sound that sounded final.

Can we please turn the music off!

*Kirby eats radio*

Thank you!

Captain Falcon's room. Entering here is a death wish. Ganondorf looked around just to see darkness everywhere, and a glowing light switch. He reached for the switch, and prepared to see what the room was for his own eyes.

Click.

"Oh...my...goddesses," Ganondorf stared wide-eyed at the horrors of what is Captain Falcon's room

Around the room, pictures of women that no one should have never seen were around the room. The Walls had comments of all the Smashers, and what CF wrote of all of them, with all of them having hearts next to them.

Beer was dripping from the ceiling, and filling the room with a fowl oder.

The rotting corpes of all of the Smashers who entered were still on the ground, along with the R.O.B Sentry all around a computer.

This was all horrible. Ganondorf's heart stopped, almost joining the other dead smashers, but saw hope. His lucky clothes in a box, right next to the computer. The Warlock made a run for the box, and grabbed the box.

"Don't worry. Dady's here," Ganondorf cradled the clothes in his arm, as well as moving the Mouse on the computer slightly, bringing the computer to the last thing it was on.

Ganondorf noticed the screen, and saw something that made his eyes widened.

"HHHHHHEEEEELLLLPPPP!"

Ganondorf used his Final Smash to burst through the door, and out of the manchen without putting his clothes on.

Let's not go farther with this since it involves too much mental scarring, and court orders. But what was on Captain Falcon's computer.

Well it was a bunch of Stories that were sent to that were removed due to having a rating that went beyond MA!

A list of stories of Captain Falcon with pairings of all smashers, and it was Ganondorf!

----------------

Captain Falcon is thought of as a drunk, and a pervert in . This is what I think his room would look like.

Well, he's thought of many things, but rarely (or not even) smart.

God doesn't know what is on CF's computer since all eyes will bleed when reading it.

That's one suggestion down. Hopefully, more to come.

Froggiecool's idea is next, since I'm almost done with that. It'll be here in a day or two, or even today if I get to it!

Please read and review. Also, give me more ideas. The best ones come from others. And you can give me more than one idea, and even review again!

Ganondorf: Please stop.

Me: Hell no!


	3. He's Bad at Looking Good

The next solution to your Dark Lord problem was provided by our amphibious author: Froggiecool.

For a village with hot, or sexy people living there, read up. People with magical caps also read up.

Warning: ate so many things with a lot of sugar, and coffee! Try...not...to...mess...up...brain!

Brain: *Has a party and is currently bouncing like a nut*

He's Bad at "Looking Good"

"Crazy Hand," Master Hand turned to his "Brother" who was spinning in place, "What's these posters of a fashion show for, and when did I allow this!"

Crazy Hand stopped spinning, "When did I have to pass all ideas through you?"

"Since the circus incident you idiot," Master Hand turned red in anger, "We maned all of the audience with your trapeze act, even though you can float, and lost so many Multi-Men, and Sandbags that day!"

"Oh," Crazy Hand thought for a moment with some Kixx, and remembered something, "Wait, you did give me permission."

"When?" Master Hand was confused trying to remember when that happened.

"At the 2009 New Years party. I asked after you drank 8 glasses of Wine at the restaurant near the giant glowing ball with the count down, and I have a video of that as well."

Crazy Hand pulled a video tape, television, VCR, and Sandwich from his...EEEERR, himself, and put the video in as he started to eat the Sandwich like all disembodied hands do.

Master Hand looked on the screen.

"Bro, hic, Can we have a fashion show this year? Hic!" Crazy Hand asked in the video to a completely drunk Hand laying on the table.

"Huh? Hic!" master Hand lifted his head up a bit, "You want to star in a show? Hic!"

"No, Hic!" Crazy Hand floated into a wall, "I want to have a fashion show at the mansion! Hic!"

"Hic, sure, whatever, Hic!" Master Hand responded as he started giggling and fell to sleep as people were counting down for 2009."

"So that's why I don't remember the 2009 party," Master Hand thought to himself, "I thought every thought it as the year the world ends."

Somehow reading MH's mind, Yoshi walked in and, "The world ends at 2012 Master Hand, but we had many predictions of the end of the world, it's not true," and Yoshi walked off, leaving a confused hand.

"You said yes, so I'm gonna set up the stage," Crazy Hand laughed as he pressed a button, and an army of R.O.B's Crazy hand kept in Storage came in with tools on them.

Outside...

"Look Zelda," Peach squealed as she read an advertisement of the Smash Mansion's first Fashion Show, "a contest where we dress up in pretty clothing!"

Zelda went to the nearest tree, and banged her head repeatedly, "She'll...ow!...never...Ow!...shut...Ow!...up...!," Zelda managed to knock herself out cold, sparing her ears of Peach's happiness that made all females turn away in disgust at the sight of a stereotypical girl that Zelda hated people to think of them...and the fact Peach gets annoying sometimes.

Sonic and Olemar walked towards the poster and read the advertisement.

"Master Hand really had to be drunk to let Crazy Hand do this," Sonic scratched his chin, "but if doesn't end like the circus did, then I'm in!"

"Yata, Yata, yata, OOO," Olemar read a passage of space Captain suit models, "Awsome! I'm in!"

Then they saw Ganondorf approach from behind, going past Peach, and the unconscious Zelda, "Doesn't she ever shut up!" Ganondorf thought to himself as he saw the poster that Sonic and Olemar were reading, and went over to it since he was completely bored due to Link being on vacation, and no chances to kill, or mane him in Brawls were available.

"Hey," Red ran towards Sonic and Olemar from the mansion's door, "hear about the fashion show!"

Sonic and Olemar nodded, "Sonic and me are going to enter the Hedgehog and Space Captain portion."

"I'm entering the Pokemon Trainer section, and Leaf is coming over with my mom to watch."

"You told them," Olemar asked, while everyone was ignoring Ganondorf reading the poster.

"Well...Crazy Hand sent invitations to everyone of our friends and family to watch the show, and will erase the memories of getting here, and just make them believe they were dreaming," Red pulled out a box, "and in this box is my secret weapon to win the show."

"Who's Leaf," Sonic asked as Ganondorf looked down the list, and read something interesting.

"It's his girlfriend that he writes to many times," Jigglypuff shouted while rolling by, and Red blushed.

"No, hell no," Red yelled at the puffball, who was now gone.

"And I can't wait to show off my 225th favorite dress," Peach kept yapping as Olemar threw a Pikimin, of the yellow explosive kind, and knocked the princess out cold.

"Thank you," Ganondorf muttered as he read the list on the poster some more.

"Good for finding a girlfriend," Captain Falcon came out of nowhere, "That means your not hitting on Samus-"

An Ice Missile sent a Captain Falcon shaped block of ice flying.

"She has very good hearing," Olemar whispered.

"Everyone has to perform in the Pokemon Trainer section of the show," Ganondorf read off the poster, and Sonic and Olemar turned to the Dark Lord.

"Personally I hate these kind of things," Ganondorf growled, "but at least they included a villains portion, and my only competition is a fat business man who farts every time he eats garlic, or thinks about garlic, and a fat turtle, and before anyone says Wolf...he's on vacation as well as Link."

"Don't get excited everyone," Alex came in dressed as a security guard, "You have to wear what Crazy Hand has given you, and I have seen some of the stuff he's got for you all, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"The dumb hand is making the clothes to wear at this thing?" Olemar looked at Alex in horror.

"And he drank coffee, and put extra sugar in it," Alex laughed some more, "He actually went through many of the mansion's walls singing "I'm a Barbie Girl" like what many people do on ."

"Oh god!" Sonic panicked, "For all we know, he's going to make us wear bombs or something worse like pink!"

"Pink?" Peach woke up the moment she heard the word, and looked around.

A blast of light from a window sent Peach into a tree, and everyone could see Snake with his Solar Gun out.

"No one wants to hear her yap like the world ends tomorrow," Snake called to Sonic, Olemar, Alex, and Ganondorf.

"The world still has 4.5 billion years left damn it!" Yoshi's voice was heard from somewhere not important.

"huh, what, Did she finally shut up?" Zelda woke up, relieved that Peach was snoring upsidedown on a tree, "I best not ask."

"Peach is going to be very disappointed at what Crazy Hand has in store for her," Alex giggled as he whispered into Zelda's elf ear, and she gave Alex a hug!

"After that, she'll never yap about clothes again!" Zelda cheered as she ran off.

"I'm going to sweep the Trainer portion," Red pumped his fist in the air.

"Why does everyone have to do that part," Sonic asked Ganondorf who had the wisdom, and the poster to answer the question.

"Well it's because everyone here has experience with a Poke Ball, and everyone also has to do a summoners portion due to the Assistance Trophies."

"Well, if anyone needs me, I'll be in my room praying that Crazy Hand doesn't make the Fashion show similar to the circus incident," Olemar headed inside the mansion.

"I need to pray as well," Sonic declared as he gave a thumbs up, and vanished from sight, leaving a gust of wind, and making a piece of paper hit Alex's face.

"I'll sweep every event I'm in," Ganondorf alughed evilly, "I may not care much about fashion, but it's always great to stick it to everyone I hate...and I hate all of you."

"Hey!" Red glared at the King of Darkness, wilder of the Triforce of Power, Dark Lord of Hyrule, Immortal, non-quitting...

Everyone reading, and in the vicinity: All right already!

Me: Okay, Okay!

"Heh, you, a little kid in his tacky little clothes could take me on," Ganondorf laughed as Red gritted his teeth.

"And yes folks, Ganondorf can make anyone feel like Link, and you get to see yet again Ganondorf get owned," Alex thought in his mind as an imaginary crowd in his head cheered!

"Oh yeah old man!" Red shouted at the towering old- (Ganondorf: *Glare*) I mean strong man.

"Says the crony kid who let's his slaves do all the work, while you start eating Pop-Tarts up on that Background stand of yours," Ganondorf gently pushed Red, and the kid went crashing down.

"Hey," Red shouted as Ganondorf walked away cackling as he sometimes does to Link, "Come Back here and fight like a kid!"

"Don't you mean man?" Alex added, "And when did I go from saying "me" and then having this story told in the third person."

Me: Because I'm the author, and I could do almost anything I want! Silence, or be erased from existence!

A few hours later...

"Welcome everyone to the Hands Co. first Fashion Show at the Smash Mansion," Crazy Hand announced into the Microphone as Master Hand took a seat behind a blast shield, "Come and see your beloved friends and family as they take a break from beating the stuffing out of each other...and my brother and I, and put on this wonderful display."

"It's more comedy than fashion," Alex snickered with the president of the Smash League...Joe...not me...my brother...

...I'm the god ruling here...

...and I was hung up-side-down to include him.

"And I'm happy about that," Joe responded as he turned to see the show.

"Now if everyone can sign these release forms to show that we are not responsible for any injuries or deaths caused by my brother's stupidity...he is," Master Hand handed papers out to all of the smashers friends and family.

Now let's show the highlights of today's show...

"Showing her struts...Peach in a goth princess dress," Crazy Hand laughed as Peach ran out from behind him.

All of the audience stopped cheering, and looked away.

The dress was hideous beyond belief...not even goths would wear it.

"Where does the Crazy one get these ideas?" Joe whispered to Alex.

"From a magic doughnut," Alex whispered with a confused Joe, "Don't ask."

"Stun silence, this is going to end Peach's clothes obsession," Zelda had a big grin on her face looking at Peach...but Peach seemed unphased by the silence.

Inside Peach's head...

"YYYYYYYAAAAAYYYY!" The imaginary audience in Peach's head started cheering and screaming, "Peach! Peach! Peach!"

"Thank You! Thank You!," Peach said blowing kisses at the silent audience.

"She's really clueless, isn't she?" Joe asked Alex who nodded in response.

"Your Kidding me!" Zelda had her mouth wide open, and her hand over it.

***********

The next few sections will humiliate a large group of smashers.

Hylians and other villagers, if you want to see the effects of good fashion on Ganondorf, skip through the text until you see the *** line. If you like laughing at bad looks, or my bad Fashion sense, read on!

Now for the Space captain section!" Crazy Hand said to a laughing audience after the plumber section...which we will not speak of, or I'll get sued for privacy infringments.

"GRRRRR," Fox was in a pink vest, with a kilt over his flower shorts.

"GRRRRR," Falco had on...feathers bandana along with a beak neckless, and a father suit of rainbow colors, "I'm disturb wearing this!"

"Gulp," Olemar stepped in a black and gold covered version of his suit, and Fox and Falco looked shocked at the well dressed captain.

"Thank god I signed up for security," Samus laughed seeing what could of become of her...unless it was something like Olamar...

to Fox's dismay, Krystal was laughing her guts out along with Kat...

...they never saw their crushes after this day.

"For the Pokemon portion..." Crazy Hand snapped his fingers as Jigglypuff, Lucario, Pikachu, Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charzard appeared on stage.

"I look like Kirby!" Jigglypuff pouted as she was wearing red boots...that's it...

"Another star warrior...and a girl!" Kirby had a shine in his eyes.

"That's Jigglypuff in your shoes," Meta Knight informed, and Kirby saddened.

"Too...many...spikes," Lucario was wearing a suit that made him have more spikes on his-

"Those are spikes that Crazy hand jabbed through his body by Crazy Hand," Alex already was making a complementary gift basket for Riley...just in case.

"I'm covered in flowers...and in a tutu...this disturbs me in many levels," Pikachu stood their with the laughing crowd, "At least everyone I know isn't here to se-"

"Awgh, Pikachu looks so cute!" Dawn squealed with Bunery as she pointed at the stage.

"Is pikachu a boy, or girl," Brock asked to the nearest person.

"He's a boy, and what has Pikachu been doing to himself," Ash stared wide eyed, "But I need to frame this moment." Ash took a picture of Pikachu with his mother's camera.

"Actually he's a hermy according to blubapedia," Yoshi read off his laptop to Brock.

"Dual gender Pokemon are rare!" Prof Oak was excited, "Imagine the re-"

"But in Smash Knight 23's relm, he's a boy," Yoshi finished holding a note that appeared from nowhere.

"..." Pikachu stared in horror at his friends...wait...everyone he's ever met..., "Can't...face...friends...again!"

"Hot hot!" Ivysaur ran in circles on fire, "Charzard is supposed to wear this pyro suit!"

"Brrrrr," Charzard shivered, "Squirtle is suppose to wear this Aqua suit!"

Squirtle just stood their, waving at everyone, looking like a lilypad.

"Are those Red's Pokemon," Leaf asked to the nearest security guar, who was Alex.

"Ummmm, no?" Alex responded...

...Let's just show the most silliest in these captions...

DK in a fur coat...

Wario in a Astronaut suit...farting at will, and not giving of any fowl oders!

...Ness and Lucus dressed in skin-tight baseball clothes that didn't let them breathe...explaining the purple faces.

...Ike dressed like the Black Knight...if the Black Knight was the Rainbow Knight!

....Marth...in a maids outfit since Crazy Hand still can't tell Marth is a boy.

...and let's not forget Pit, looking like a man version of Edna from Disgea (Sorry if misspelled)

"Why you!" Edna chased Pit of stage with an axe.

"Dude! not to of them!" the Prinnies ran in circles in fear...

"...Why are we here, Dude?" Prinny 2548 asked.

"Dude, Duno." Prinny 007 responded.

**************

"Now for the villains!" Crazy Hand shouted into the mic, and a sonic boom knocked everyone to the ground.

Wario came out in a business suit, black vest with white shirt and tie, and black pants...but no "W" hat, which made him very sad without it.

"Now we have Ganondorf!" Crazy Hand shot a laser from his fingertips to disinigrate a wall wear Ganondorf was...exactly the same.

"Yay!" though it was better than most things in this entire show.

"...And last but not least..." Crazy Hand stalled for dramatic effect..." Bowser!"

"Roar!" Bowser bursted through the wall in his Gigga form...with an expensive crown, and new diamond incrusted shell...it was beautiful. Everyone stared in awe at the Large Kupa, and cheered for the turtle.

"Too...wonderful...must...get...away!" Ganondorf crawled away from the Stage.

"And Bowser takes the show," Crazy hand shouted, "Now for the Pokemon Trainer section."

"Crazy Hand," Master Hand whispered over his brother, and the Hand of Destruction came over, bumping into the blast shield, "Ganondorf and Red are the only people available."

"What?" Crazy Hand flipped up-side-down and started spinning, "What about the others?"

"All are suffering from emotional and mental trauma, and Bowser is to big for anything...and Wario ate some garlic."

Crazy Hand got sad, "All right, just Red and Ganondorf."

"This is better," Ganondorf was in a blue shirt, with yellow shorts, and white shoes, "What I don't usually wear, but at least I'm wearing something different this time."

"Ready," Red said with his red shirt, orange shorts, and blue sneakers, "If Crazy Hand made the same awful clothes as Ganondorf, I have a secret weapon," Red held a box in his hand, and went towards the stage.

"Due to mental, emotional, and just recently discovered, physical injuries," Master Hand turned to stretchers with a burnt Ivysaur, wet Charzard, impaled Lucario, bleeding Olemar, crippled luigi, and a dead Waddle De that King Dedede fell on on the King's display...

"How do I-wow," King Dedede muttered to himself, covered in blankets as a mummy, and tripped on a wandering Waddle De.

"We have two survivors left, three if Squirtle wasn't tied in the vines from the Pokemon display," Master Hand turned to some Multi-men who were atempting to free Squirtle, now resorting to a chainsaw...

...and another stretcher.

"Ganondorf and Red, come on out!" Crazy Hand shouted, and the nearly dressed duo came out...but had the same clothes on, but in different colors.

"Who's the winner folks," Master hand asked the audience, but they all looked the same.

"hmmmm," Leaf looked at red carefully, "...Where's his hat?"

"The hat son, your hat!" Red's mom prayed in her mind that his son would put the hat on.

"It's time," Red thought as he opened the box, revealing his hat, or cap to be more accurate. A symbol of being a top trainer, and a persistent one at best.

"Huh?" Ganondorf looked confused at Red, "That's just your hat, it would-"

Red put his hat on.

"-n't make a dif-"

AAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEe!

"AAAAAAAHH!" Ganondorf yelled as the sonic boom generated by the crowd's cheer knocked him off his feet, through the wall, and a one-way flight to hyrule!

"And Red is the winner!' Master Hand congratulated Red, gave him a trophy, "The only smasher who isn't injured, or needs psychiatric help after all this!"

"Yay!" the crowd roared again, and everyone Red knew came to him.

"A great Trainer, and knows what to put on to make something look good,...or better than the other guy at least," his mom gave his son a big hug.

"You did it!" Leaf also gave Red a big hug and a congratulatory kiss, leaving the survivor blushing as bright as his name indicates.

"Now for the Laser Light Show!" Crazy Hand cheered, and Amy, Clause, Krystal, Brock, Toad, mayling, and Joey remembered the final incident of the Circus...

"Laser Light Show!" Crazy hand cheered to an injured audience as he pressed a button, and colorful, lethal lasers hit the ground, vaporizing a lot of the Multi-men on the ring.

"RRRRRRUUUUUUNNNNN!" Everyone who remembered shouted, triggering everyone elses memory, and ran out of the building, as colorful lasers of death destroyed the mansion, killing the Smash President Joe in the mayhem...

...At Court...

"My client has his defense of criminal insanity," Yoshi, Crazy Hand's Lawyer gave his statement, and showed the judge Crazy Hand's medical records.

"This Hand is retarded," the judge read the file, "Then the defendant is free to go if he takes extra medication."

"Or tie him up to the nearest pole," master Hand added.

...But what happened to Ganondorf?

Link was lying next to Lake Hylia with Wolf, Toon Link, and Didy Kong.

"Away from everyone we hate," Link gave a big sigh as everyone else followed with their own.

"No Fox and the bird-brain to worry about," Wolf added.

"No one to tell me not to eat as many bananas as I want," Didy Kong added while eating the 245th banana in a row.

"No ganondorf to bug us," toon Link added as everyone nodded in agreement.

Link then sat up, "Though I can hear him for some reason," Link alerted everyone, and they all sat up.

Everyone also heard Ganondorf, but didn't know where it came from.

AAAAAAAHH! SPLASH!

Everyone turned to Lake Hylia to see Ganondorf lying unconscious in the water wearing Pokemon Trainer clothes.

Everyone looked at each other with confused faces, and all realized Crazy Hand did something incredibly stupid that destroyed the mansion.

They packed up, and carried Ganondorf back to Nintendo City.

---------

The reason this was a long chapter was because I needed a way to get the show on the road. I wanted to make it funny than just a fashion dual called by Red.

...and Crazy Hand would asign this activity, and end it with everyone getting killed, or hurt.

I'm no longer writing this story out of boredom. This story helped me cheer up after a major head-ache kept my family from going to the beach last weekend. I really felt bad for ruining the trip, but typing this cheered me up.

Velk and Froggiecool have given me ideas, so can you...and I'm sure i enabled reviews from non-members of . So give me some ideas People. You give me strength to get up in the morning, and type!


	4. Annoyed into A Maiden's Painful Embrace

Dear god!

I put the wrong category, and title as I was thinking to hard that day, and will fix the mistakes.

Before I start the next torcher situation...

Alex isn't me. He's someone that came out of my head, and in the computer...and he was a hamster that works on sanity...and I lack that now!

A 16 year old boy is sitting on a throne with many people in shackles on planet Crazy.

My name is G-

"Falcon Puuunnnccchh!" Captain Falcon shouted as he punched...the television that wasn't working.

If no one heard me, my real name is G-

"Crazy hand, don't do it!" Master Hand begged as Crazy Hand drank coffee.

For the last time, my name is g-

"This...is...Sparta!" Pikachu, Ness, Lucus, Nana, and Popo were watching the 300 movie on high volume.

Second, I might update a bit late than usual since I know go to the swimming pool.

Third,...I like pie!

"Hey, that's my line," Crazy Hand's voice was heard from 4 floors up.

Lastly, any hamsters that run my brain enter this fic, they have the ability to change forms...which is why I don't bother describing Alex because you can imagine who he is. Though I don't plan to torcher any other hamsters...I like thinking.

For anyone who has someone very annoying, your little brother, your nosey neighbor, your mom, is nothing compared to someone who speaks in the third person...a lot, and speaks about himself, and things you don't want to here.

If you have someone like that, then Ganondork-Ganondorf will submit...or else he'll hide anywhere...even someplace very painful.

This chapters influence came from GirintinaB and Pikana's first idea...so both you two shall be listed next to this chapter on the Top ten finale.

Enjoy, and Hyrulians may want to search their local bed stores to find something to put Ganondorf in.

Annoyed into a Maiden's Painful Embrace

"The new beds are here," Master hand shouted into the P.A system, causing an earthquake to occur in the manSion.

"Not so loud D(Beep)," Wolf groaned from downstairs as a bookcase fell on top of the vulpine.

"New beds," Crazy Hand looked confused, "When did we order beds?"

"You don't remember?" Master Hand randomly swatted a fly, "You made the order for the beds."

Mario walked into the room, "uh-oh. Crazy hand ordered-a our beds-a?"

"There are 33 beds, a King-sized bed for me, a race car bed for you, and an iron maiden - What!" Master Hand looked at the iron maiden,"Why did you buy this!"

Crazy Hand stared at the death device, "I don't know...I just don't know..."

Master hand read the label as ganondorf entered the room.

"The Giga Bed Implorium congratulates you on buying the Silencer Iron Maiden. It includes an unbreakable frame work that is also sound-proof. It includes more spikes than your average maiden, and a confurtable padding for your victim. The lock is an easy-to-use button lock that will open the box for removal of the corpse. Again, we enjoyed your purchasing of anything from the Giga Bed Implorium, ran by our boss, Giga Bowser."

"Giga Bowser makes beds now?" Ganondorf asked the to hands, as more smashers came in to see the new beds.

:Why-" Ganondorf tried to say something, before all the smashers took the good beds, leaving the King- size bed for Master hand, the Race car bed for Crazy hand, and the iron maiden.

"i'm going to sleep in an iron maiden?" Ganondorf looked down on the death trap.

"Of course not," Master Hand assured Ganondorf, "The suppliers will pick the bed up, and get you a queen size bed in about 11 hours."

"11hours, right," Ganondorf made a mental note, as Master Hand put the iron maiden aside, and started beating his brother with a baseball bat that was lying on the ground.

Ganondorf headed to the kitchen for breakfast.

"Captain Falcon got me a good queen size bed," Captain Falcon was starting to speak in the third person to my poor morphing hamster/who morphs to human, and likes being human, Alex.

Alex was eating cereal normally.

"Captain Falcon won't hurt his back when with ladies," me, Smash Knight 23, teleported into the room with coffee, and a eggwich, also having a normal breakfast.

"You two aren't listening to Captain Falcon," Pit came in smiling and waving at captain Falcon.

"Captain Falcon is not talking to you three ever again," Captain Falcon stomped away to the other side of the large kitchen.

Pit, Alex, and me pulled earplugs out of our ears.

"Zelda's earplugs actually shuts away Captain Falcon's voice," Pit looked amazed at the brown plugs.

"Peace and quiet," Alex sighed as he ate more of his cereal.

"I can enjoy my coffee and eggwich in peace," I took a sip of the coffee, and grabbed a newspaper from the nearby rack, and attempted (In vain) to do the crossword, "An eight letter word describing Captain Falcon's behavior...huh?"

"Perverted," Zelda came in and started to make herself a sandwich.

"Thanks," I responded as I read the next question.

"I'm cooking, I'm cooking, I'm cooking things that people will eat, I'm cooking, I'm cooking, I'm cooking things that people will cheeeewww," Mr. Game and Watch, and R.O.B were both singing as they were making Pancakes, and had a stack for anyone who wanted any.

Ganondorf came by, and took about 4 pancakes, and headed to the table.

Captain Falcon came near G&W and R.O.B, and Mr. Game and Watch put his earplugs on as R.O.B pulled his sound recognition device out of his head.

Captain Falcon started to speak.

*In R.O.B's view*

"" Captain Falcon mouth was moving, but no sound was made.

*G&W's view&

"" Captain Falcon mouth was moving, but no sound.

"You guys are ignoring Captain Falcon as well," Captain Falcon went sad again, "Fine, Captain Falcon will talk to someone else."

After Craptain Falcon left, R.O.B and Mr. Game and Watch took off their ear plugs.

"I have to hand it to Zel, these work wonders," Mr. Game and watch spoke, but realized something when R.O.B nodded and had the devices off, "Wait, when did you put ear plugs on, and how did you hear me without your sound recognition devices?"

"I use these devices just for show, and I can put plugs on at the speed of Crazy Hand spinning one rotation...which is exactly .00000000451 seconds."

"I'll go with that," Mr. Game and Watch nodded, and returned to making more pancakes."

"Can someone pass the syrup," Ganondorf demanded as he slammed his fist on the table, sending Jigglypuff's toast in her face.

Samus grabbed the syrup, who past it to Pikachu, who past it to Snake, who threw it at Ganondorf like a grenade, covering the pancakes and Dark Lord in Mrs. Maple's syrup.

"Thanks a lot Snake!" Ganondorf grumbled angrily as he poured himself some coffee, and ignored the sticky syrup for now.

I decided to come over, and only brung my coffee from Dunken Doughnuts, already done with my eggwich, and carried a box of doughnuts I hid from Wario, and a box of cigarettes for Snake. "What's going on?"

"Not much," Samus replied as Snake took the box of cigars...hey! I brought a box of cigaretts...never mind, Pikachu took a chocolate doughnut, and Jiggly puff made her way to get the strawberry, all ignoring Captain Falcon coming by.

"Snake just threw the syrup again as a grenade," Pikachu responded chewing on his doughnut, "How is the human world Smash Knight 23?"

"Not much," I responded as Captain Falcon came closer, and closer, "Economic crisis, still some trouble getting soldiers out of Iraq, and the Swine flu is not so popular on the news anymore."

Captain Falcon was 20 meters away. We have a giant kitchen and dining room here.

"We don't have those kinds of trouble in my version of Earth," Snake responded as he blew smoke into Jigglypuff's face.

"But at least he doesn't have a terrorist clone of yourself trying to take command of the military, and rule the world," Samus snapped as coffee spilled on ganondorf's forbidden zones, and Captain Falcon was 18 meters away.

"And at least he's not coughing from smoking habits!" Jigglypuff also snapped after she regained fresh air, and Snake started violently coughing, knocking the entire pot of coffee on Ganondorf.

"EEEERRR, watch where you knock things!" ganondorf growled as the perverted racer was coming closer.

"Snake doesn't need to worry about that, since he commits suicide on his next game, and fic of mines," I proudly state as Snake spat...uuugh siliva...in tobacco at Pikachu.

"Ugh, gross," Pikachu shook the crud off as it landed on Ganondorf's last pancake.

"Screw this," ganondorf vaporized the last pancake with his dark powers, and Captain Falcon was 7 meters away, and closing.

"What do yo mean I co-" Snake was about to start an argument with the great me, until...

"hi fellas!" Captain Falcon closed the distance with a Falcon Kick, and everyone jumped in their seats.

"Great," Samus grunted as she put the ear plugs on, followed by Snake, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, me, but not Ganondorf.

"Hey, guys, It's Captain Falcon, the Great one. Guys?"

I just smiled and waved.

"Your ignoring me as well!" Captain Falcon pouted, "Then,"

"Quit bothering me," Ganondorf growled as he took and inhaled his sugar doughnut...well Kirby inhaled it from 15 meters away, "Grrrr!" Ganondorf grabbed another doughnut, and actually ran before Kirby took another.

"I need to follow him, he's the only one that will listen," Craptain Falcon thought in his mind as he stalked the Dark Lord.

For the next 10 hours, Captain Falcon spoke in the third person, only speaking to Ganondorf...

...Let's see how that is going on an hourly check-up.

Hour 1:

Ganondorf was in the showers, trying to remove the annoying syrup off his body. He made sure the door was locked, and proceeded to clean himself...unsticky!

"I've got to admit it," Ganondorf said as he scrubbed his head with shampoo, "G(Loud explosion from Crazy Hand's room blocks the rest of the name) makes good showers with never ending hot water."

"You said it," Captain Falcon was right next to him also taking a shower, even though this wasn't his room, "Captain Falcon enjoys this a lot!"

Ganondorf jumped in surprise as he stared wide-eyed at the bubble-covered racer, "What in Master Hand's pinky are you doing in my bathroom!"

"To talk," Craptain Falcon cheerfully exclaimed.

Ganondorf proceeded to grab the bird, and throw him through the wall, into the hallway.

From the bathroom, Ganondorf heard...

"Hey ladies. How does Captain Falcon-"

"Dear goddesses!" Zelda screeched as rapid footsteps and screams of horror were echoed throughout the mansion.

A gun shot was heard from the hallway Ganondorf threw the racer.

"Where some clothes idiot," Samus was heard stomping away as whimpers of pain were now audible from the hallway.

Hour 2:

Ganondorf was now fixing the wall he destroyed earlier, using stuff I got from Home Depo from the real world.

"The wall is up, now I just need to put plaster over it, and place the marble tiles back on," the Dark Lord examined the wall carefully.

He turned to the vat of plaster he had, and was about to get some to put on the wall, but something was inside, making bubbles.

"Oh no!" Ganondorf thought an evil beast was made because Falco decided to put Insta-monster mix in something liquidy...for the 6th time.

Something rose from the container.

"this makes Captain Falcon's skin tingle!" Captain Falcon said as he was standing in the middle of the container.

"Moron!" Ganondorf shouted at the goey falcon, "You covered yourself in Quick Dry Plaster!"

"Cha," Captain Falcon waved Ganondorf's insults off, "Everyone, including Captain Falcon, knows that that stuff is all a bunch of pure-"

Captain Falcon couldn't say anything else because the plaster dried up.

"Silence," Ganondorf sighed as he continued to repair his wall.

Hour 3:

Ganondorf was in the game area, for the first time in ages, and was currently playing against Link in Street Fighter IV...and was beating Link.

"This can't be happening," Alex stared in amazement as Ganondorf had Link struggling to fight back as Ken was about to lose against Bison.

"Your actually going to beat Link at something!" Bowser stared in awe at Ganondorf's advance skills on the game even though it was his first time playing.

"I can't lose!" Link almost cried as finally, Ken was down to his last, non-existent fraction of health, and Ganondorf had a Super move ready to finish it.

But...

"those guys almost look as sexy as Captain Falcon."

The earplugs were meant to block only Captain Falcon's voice, and everyone had theirs on...except Ganondorf, who never got one from Zelda.

Ganondorf turned around in confusion, "Now who's dumb enough to say that?"

Link was performing Ultra combos after Ultra Combos as Bison was standing still...because Ganondorf put his controller down.

"The all mighty god of sexiness, Captain Falcon!" The racer exclaimed as a lightning bolt from out of nowhere zapped the racer for being, and saying, a retarded thing.

Link was still pummeling Ganondorf's Bison. "You see, I can't believe my moveset is nearly the same as yours-" Ganondorf glared at the charred Falcon until-

"KO!" the game announced as Ganondorf remembered the game, "Winner, Ken!"

"Yes!" Link punched the air, copying what red, Street Fighter King, does after whipping someone's but in Street FIghter IV.

"GGGGRRRRAAAAAAHH!" Ganondorf yelled as his first victory over Link on anything was crushed by Captain Falcon's interference.

hour 4"

Lunch Time! Everyone was enjoying a nice meal of fried chicken, white rice, salad, Cigars for Snake, Falay of fish for anyone not feeling like chicken, and Coca-cola imported from my house in the real world.

"It's beautiful!" Kirby had a gleam in his eye as the R.O.B robots leftover from the Subspace Emissary were handing out the food.

Ganondorf was munching down his food, which was one serving of everything, until he saw him. Him being Captain falcon.

Snake was smoking his Cigar nearby.

Ganondorf went towards Snake, and whispered, "Give me a grenade."

"Why?" Snake blinked confused as Ganondorf pointed at Captain Falcon, "I see, but you know Zel-"

"Captain Falcon is in the hou-" Captain Falcon shouted as Ganondorf threw the grenade, sending the falcon through the wall, and knocking Ganondorf's food into Kirby's mouth.

"Yay!" Kirby cheered.

Hour 5:

"Captain Falcon likes his rooms quiet, and lights shining," Captain Falcon was talking to a tied-up Ganondorf, swearing to strangle the bird when he gets free.

More unsavory comments from Captain Falcon later...

Hour 6:

"Help! Help! Someone save Captain Falcon," Captain Falcon pleaded as everyone put their ear plugs on.

"Come back here and speak normally!" Ganondorf shouted swinging Link's Ball and Chain from the locker rooms that he "Borrowed" and lit it on fire.

Hour 7"

"dizzy," Crazy Hand stupidly said as he kept on spinning like a top.

Nothing special happened this hour.

"Thank you," Ganondorf said from inside Crazy Hand.

Hour 8"

"Ganondorf," Captain Falcon was searching the dark depths of what is Crazy hand's room, "Captain Falcon wants to talk with you!"

"Now!" Ganondorf whispered to the great stupid hand and dropped a 200 ton weight on Captain Falcon, comicly crushing him.

Hour 9:

"Finally," Ganondorf said while eating dinner that Master Hand made for all of the smashers, "Captain Falcon can't get me while he's in the emergency room-"

"Captain Falcon is back baby!" Captain Falcon exclaimed as Ganondorf stood up from his chair, and took his dinner while sprinting.

"You'll never catch me!" Ganondorf shouted as he tripped over a sleeping Diddy Kong on the floor, and had the dinner shoved up his face.

"Nothing will keep the great Captain Falcon down!" Captain Falcon exclaimed as everyone ignored him.

Hour 10:

the great chase of bird and warlock continued. They have traveled all over the mansion, and went into the sewers, and Captain Falcon was sad he didn't find the Ninja Turtles down there, but he's dumb enough to think they exist.

"Well done my sons," a rat-shaped shadow was speaking to four other people, with their shadows in a turtle shape, "We avoided contact with the great annoying one known as Captain Falcon."

...Okay? Anyway...

The chase went back to the room the iron maiden was in. The nice, quiet maiden. To Ganondorf, it looked like a coffin, and it was sound proof according to MH.

"Captain Falconljakjfkjaklnkoanfioincjoapnfiwpf hjuiwpfnkjdsancoiphfnjkqwpfn wfnjpqfjntikoncfjvkpqjfwqnvokjilpqfbdvne," Captain Falcon's voice was scrambled up in Ganondorf's head, he couldn't take this stalker.

"I...can't...take...it!" Ganondorf shouted as he opened the maiden, and jumped in closing the spikey coffin with a lock.

"Hey, where did he go?" Captain Falcon looked around for the dark lord, but he was nowhere to be seen, "Awgh well, I ended Fox's dare to speak in the third person already for half of the day."

Captain Falcon left the room.

An hour later, some supply people took the iron maiden from the mansion, and back to Giga Bed Implorium.

...and no one cared what happened to Ganondorf...but I'll tell you anyway.

"Thank you for buying from Giga Bed Implorium," a Kupa supplier finished as he went into his truck, and drove off.

The entire town of Iron Grip Village gathered around the Maiden as a man spoke.

"We will see after 50 failed attempts, we can continue our tradition of finding our leader in an iron maiden, drinking the water, and turning it to the waters of life when they come out of his holes.

"Please be Spongebob," a random person in the crowd prayed.

"This is ridiculous, no one can sur-" another random person in the crowd, who didn't believe in the tradition, was about to comment on it until the maiden was opened.

From the iron maiden, arose Ganondorf, covered in many, many, many holes.

"I see, an iron maiden has spikes," Ganondorf spoke out loud, and then noticed many people staring with wide eyes, and opened mouths, "Hey, where am I?"

"Drink this," the priest starting the event gave Ganondorf some water, and walked him towards a patch of dead plants.

Ganondorf gladly drank the water after about 20 days stuck in their, and all of it fell through the holes, and on the flowers.

In about three seconds, the plants stood straight, and grew, regaining their color, and confusing Ganondorf beyond belief.

haleyluya!

"Our king!" everyone shouted as Ganondorf became ruler of the kingdom where the village was, and never bothered Hyrule ever again.

Everyone was happy, except for Snake, who didn't notice Ganondorf taking his box of cigars.

-----------

Holy body sprinkler. I wonder if Ganondorf can come over, and help me with my plants?

(Picture of a barren wasteland for a backyard.)

Well I hoped you liked it everyone, including Pikana and GirintinaB.

Remember readers, the point for the Hyrulians and anyone else that Ganondorf bothers is to get rid of them. Who will expect that they would become King?

Oh well, and one more thing I need to add...this story was done since Monday! Sadly, when I wanted to post it on the next chapter, I couldn't Log in to the internet due to problems with connection. It was down until today, but at least I posted it.

Pikana and GirintinaB's ideas are down, whose next?

Read, review, and give me ideas! It's fun typing these!


	5. Screwed Magic Act

...Homework has killed me.

What ever enemies to the Subspace Army (I'm turning evil, Yay!) are distracting me- Mario, stop burning my Computer!

Mario: We're not killing each other right now?

Me: No, I just want- Lucarrio! Stop nuking my computer!

Lucario: We're not in mortal combat yet?

Me: That story hasn't started yet, and anyway, we are not allowed to fight outside of the story.

Everyone: Oh!

Me: ...Ripredisawsome came up with this idea. R.O.B is the storyteller here. You'll see why I'm not here.

And these things that we do to Ganondorf are mishaps that severely hurts him. The Master Sword isn't the only thing that hurts him, but in this Chappy, it will appear. And reveal something about it and a Magic shop.

I'll hand this one to the robot.

-------------

...Hey, what am I doi-

¬e; drops to Ripredisawsome&

Okay, that is weird, but I get paid for this.

&Story Starts&

-------------

Screwed Magic Act!

Crazy Hand was floating in front of me and the crowd. Everyone around me blinked at the hand who now warped a black-top hat on his he- hand.

"Welcome to the first annual Hands magic show!" Crazy Hand yelled into the mike towards the out-door audience. Yes, I was outside and on the back, yet I'm getting deaf just by being here.

Everyone, except me since I'm just here for today, were very scared.

King DeDeDe was the brave sap who spoke, "How did Master Hand and Smash Knight 23 let you do this after the fashion show?" All this was said with a stutter.

"EEEEEEEEEI!" King DeDeDe screamed like a little third grade girl as Crazy Hand picked him up, and had a cup of water on the make-shift stage. I think the original stage is still under repair.

"Well," Crazy Hand spun with the poor bird screaming "I used my special persuading skills."

"What persuading skills!" Ike shouted from the crowd, but the hand just giggled.

"Let's just say I used some stringy thing, and something very shiny when I press this button," Crazy Hand pointed his pinkey at a button on the stage, and used K 3De (DeDeDe is getting repetitive to type)

I wonder what he means?

&I take back the show for about 3 minutes&

I'm going to tell you what he uses to convince anyone about anything. Let's use a R.O.B Sentry to Check up on MH. You really don't like to be where I'm at right now.

"Mph, Mph, Mph, Mph, Mph," a closet somewhere in the vowels of Crazy Hand's room was making a lot of noise.

With X-Ray vision, you can see about 2 tons of explosives rigged to blow when the closet is opened, and Master Hand who is bound and gagged to a pole. Hmmmm, a pole in his closet.

"I'm going to kill you when I get out of here!" MH shouted in his head as an image of Crazy Hand appeared.

He turned red as the heat from his rage lit the fuse.

"Oh s(beep)!" MH went from furious red, to ghostly white.

Me, on the other hand, well I now know what that button does. Read the sign I'm bound and gagged with Chains of Light to.

Crazy Hand's Play area.

This is where Crazy Hand plays Nuclear Epocolips Warfare with his toy soldiers.

Once a bustling Utopia,

Now reduced to a sandy wasteland with pink soldiers,

tanks, and airplanes awaiting a "Shiny" end.

Basically, I'm very screwed. That Nuclear missile is coming...again, and I had to revive myself multiple times. And I'm starting to itch in many unpleasant places.

And speak of th-

&BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!&

&End of SK 23's Narration&

Back to me, Crazy Hand was holding up a cup with a certain penguin now inside of it. It blinked as all of the scared crowd, with Tabuu now joining us since he knew what Crazy Hand was going to do all day-

"Who let him in here!" Pikachu yelled as his tail was pointed at the Former Subspace ruler.

Zap!

"Never point at me," Tabuu said coldly to the Pikachu trophy next to the Kirby and Samus trophy.

Yawn," in between Link and Mario, Captain Falcon was waking up from his nap, apparently bored of this, and quickly pointed at Tabuu, "What the h-"

Blast!

Now on the front seats were Captain Falcon, Mario, and Link.

"Tabuu is one of my poker buddies," Crazy Hand said throwing the cup away, with King DeDeDe screaming inside, and snapped his fingers, "and I told him all the shows we were going to perform to you, and he came willingly."

"Ohhh, crap," all of the smashers facepalmed themselves for coming here.

All trophies shun brightly, and everyone was back to normal, except...

""Dear god!" Captain Falcon yelled at the top of his lungs, "Chicks aren't going to dig a pink guy!" A few people looked at Captain Falcon, compared to the others who didn't care much, and Kirby who was already pink.

Tabuu laughed at this, and Crazy Hand was drueling, which is his thinking state.

"That'll wear off in about an hour," Crazy Hand then pointed at Peach, "Come on up!"

Peach briskly hopped from her seat, not knowing what Crazy Hand was planning.

"Flowers for the Princess?" Crazy Hand made a bundle of flowers appear on his ring finger.

"Oh!" Peach looked amazed at the hand as she took the flowers...

Well tried to take the flowers.

"Yay- Huh?" Peach looked at her empty hands, "What happened to my beautiful flowers?"

"I made it disappear before all of your eyes," Crazy Hand answered, "and I can make them reappear again!"

Crazy Hand snapped his fingers, and a bunch of Baba Serphants started to wrap and maul Peach to death.

Bowser and Tabuu were the only ones clapping, as everyone else were still shocked what just happened.

"Oops," CH looked at the trophy of Peach being encircled by the snake-like plants from the Forest Temple, "I'll get Link to clean that up later."

"Argh," Link shrugged as he had his day ruined, "I'll have to cancel the date with Ilia."

"Ha ha, you have a girlfriend!" Toon Link childishly mocked as Ganondorf was getting annoyed, and attempted to upload pictures of Toon Link and the Fairy Queen sitting on a tree back in the Great Sea. And I said attempted.

"Blast Technology!" Ganondorf slammed his fist on the ancient laptop he was using, and it finally uploaded onto the Smash Brothers website, next to Toon Link's posting of the "Naked Warlock on the Streets".

"Now Pikachu will perform a classic," Crazy Hand pointed at Pikachu, and in a puff of smoke, he was on the wooden stage.

It began to snow for some reason, and the brown mansion with the green garden has now turned into a winter wonderland.

"Snow! Yay!" Crazy Hand yelled as Pikachu pulled a hat out of nowhere.

Samus in her now pink colored Armor-suit pulled on Ike's bandanna, and the mercenary looked around for a bit.

"You see where Kirby went?" Samus typed on her visor, and Ike shook his head.

"He probably went to the snack machine, and eat the entire thing," Ike returned his attention to the pink mouse.

"I better go ahead and order another snack machine from Gigas Snack Machine Implorium," Samus started contacting the store.

"Pikachu will now pull a rabbit out of a hat!" Crazy Hand cheered as everyone sighed. A safe act.

"Kirby," Pikachu whispered into his hat, "Did you eat a rabbit?"

"Yep!" the hat responded as Crazy hand looked at Pikachu dumbly.

"Ready Mickey Mo- Wait, who are you again?" Crazy Hand spun in place, "Oh yeah, your Pikachu."

Pikachu pulled a magic wand out of nowhere, and started to wave it over the hat, "Abra Kadabra, Alakazam," Pikachu chanted as the wand shun , "Let a rabbit come out of this hat!"

Pikachu reached in and pulled an Abra out of the hat.

The crowd blinked.

Pikachu threw Abra, and reached his hpaw in the hat again, and pulled out a...

Kadabra!

The crowd just blinked again, and Tabuu just coughed.

"Hehe," Pikachu nervously laughed as he put his paw in the hat, "Just kidding."

This time, an Alakazam was staring at the crowd with a face that read, "How did I get here, who are these people, and I like pie" all at the same time.

"Get some pie for the Alakazam, and let's give Pikachu another chance," Crazy Hand ordered as a R.O.B robot lured Alakazam off stage with apple pie.

"Pie!" the hat yelled, "Where!"

Everyone looked at the pink mouse with a suspicious glance.

"Kirby," Pikachu growled to the hat, "shut up and tell me you ate a rabbit."

"Yep!" the hat responded, "but I also had lunch."

Pikachu reached in multiple times, and pulled out a piece of cake, chalk, a tooth brush, a puppy, crayons, a doll, some magazines (which C. Falcon took), a pizza box, about 28 snack machines, and the list keeps on growing.

Tabuu coughed again as the crowd all groaned in boredom.

"Ughhh," Crazy hand drueled again as he thought, "As Pikachu is trying to pull out a rabbit from a hat, let's move onto the next act."

Crazy Hand is now getting berried by the stuff Pikachu was pulling out of the hat.

"Let's have the acts off the stage for now," Crazy Hand informed from under a boat and two-ump.

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" Sonic demanded as Snake shoved the hedgehog into the box that magically appeared from out of nowhere onto the garden.

To everyone's glee, the box was filled with TNT, and actually preyed for the worst to happen in this act.

"I will now make Sonic disappear," Snake announced as he pressed a button on the remote, and ran far away.

"How did they come up with these acts even though Crazy Hand just told us this was a magic show," Zelda asked to no one in particular as the outdoors lit up with a bright white blast from the TNT.

"Well?" Red asked to Snake.

"Well what?" Snake responded.

"Aren't you going to bring him back?" Red asked as everyone was praying for a "No" from Snake.

"I'm suppose to bring him back?" Snake stared in confusion at Red as everyone all over the world was cheering. Everyone who was playing Sonic games was now crying for the death of the hedgehog.

"Boy I'm screwed if MH somehow gets out of his prison," Crazy Hand shouted from under the rubble, though everyone ignored him from the party outside. Crazy Hand eventually found daylight and popped out of the rubble, "I'm Free- Ow!"

Pikachu, who has his hind end raised to the air as his head was inside the hat, and somehow pulled a Snorlax from within, and it landed on Crazy Hand.

"Next act please," Crazy Hand ordered as his voice was muffled from under the sleeping giant.

Tabuu, who was throwing a kickin party, if you whipper-snappers still say that, pointed at Bowser, and turned his shell into a beautiful shell, with the spikes being transformed into roses.

"There's your act, can we continue the celebration of the death of the hedgehog," Tabuu announced angrily as Crazy Hand escaped his prison.

"Lucario was suppose to be next," Ch Responded as Dueon was pulled out from the hat, Pikachu no longer visible from the outside, and crushed the Hand of Destruction, "But now I feel like ending it at Ganondorf's act."

"Act?" Ganondorf asked to the hand under the giant robot-like twin body creature.

"The "Man in the Box of Swords" with Link assisting," Crazy Hand grunted as Dueon spun in place for no reason.

"I'm dancing!" Dueon informed me, and I just focused on the Lucario that was suddenly shot out of a cannon, and was heading towards the Moon.

"That's one brave Pokemon," Marth stared up at the flying jackle.

"But not much of a magic act as it looks more like a circus performance," Ness analyzed as he now sported geeky glasses, "And I get offended if someone calls me a geek because of these," Ness pointed at his glasses, and proceeded to burn the bland black metal specs with PK Fire for my comment.

"Huh," someone said from inside a sword box that teleported on the-

A sword box fell on top of Luigi, and he proceeded to run in circles screaming for "Mama Luigi."

That explains the box, so let-

"Finally!" Pikachu shouted from in the hat, and everyone, except Captain Falcon who was having a hand-over from the beer he carried around with him, and used for Tabuu's celebration of the demise of Sonic, turned to Pikachu, who finally emerged from the hat, "I found a rabi-" Pikachu held his paw up in the air with the "Rabbit" held up high, until Samus scanned the "Rabbit" and cut Pikachu off.

"Pikachu, that's a Bunery, not a rabbit," Samus showed the display on her visor, and Pikachu turned to his paw to see a Bunery.

"Bun?" the fluffy rabbit-Pokemon asked to Pikachu, who just threw her on top of the emerging hannd.

"Bun Bunery?" Bunery asked Crazy Hand, who was just staring at the Pokemon.

"Technically that is a rabbit," Fox informed the praying Pikachu, who wanted to end this lame act, "But you are suppose to pull a rabbit out of a hat, not a Bunery."

"Screw you!" Pikachu pointed at Fox, and jumped back into the hat.

"A new plush doll to sleep with," Crazy Hand put the confused Bunery into a bag he held inside his glove, and turned to Pink Link.

Link stared down at his one Sword, and the number of places he had to shove multiple swords in.

Crazy hand snapped his fingers, evading the giant Gorilla robot beast from the Subspace Emissary that came out of the hat, "Use these," Crazy Hand pointed to a box of Swords that were labeled, "Hyrule Magic Implorium Swords. We are the people who put the Master Sword in its place. Link just in powers it."

"...I could of just ordered these, and I could have had an easier time to kick Ganondorf's a(beep)!" Link stared at the box, and shouted at the last words, breaking all the lights of the disco ball Tabuu was trying to set up. You would think of the way he acts, he wouldn't stooped down to a Party Animal. Funny Party-

"Don't tell them what my hat looks like!" Tabuu spat at me with hatred, and I shut up about the hat.

"Well, I'm pissed I couldn't just buy a Master sword from H-Bay," Link pulled one of the swords out of the box, "But this will be fun."

Crazy Hand evaded a giant spiked stone block with poison on the ends of the points, but couldn't dodge the safe that flew from the hat. The safe opened, and Lucario came strolling out of the safe, and Link froze in place before plunging his sword in the box, and everyone else stared at Lucario.

"What?" Lucario blinked at everyone, and the audience pointed at the cannon, "That, I just had help from Mewtwo to teleport me in a safe, and in kirby.

"Kirby?" Everyone turned their attention to the hat, and Pikachu popped his head out for a moment.

"The hat's name is Kirby, in honor of my best friend," Pikachu boldly stated.

"Thanks buddy," Kirby cheered as Pikachu stomped on the hat, "Ow!"

"Pink," Lucario stared at the Pink dressed swordsman, "What are you waiting for?"

"Pink, who's pink?" with the voice clearly Ganondorf's, asked to the nearest person outside.

"My Name is Not PINK!" Link stabbed the Master Sword into the box in pure rage, and quickly pulled another, and another, and another sword from the box in rapid succession.

"OW! OOO! HAOW! EEEEH! DAAAHH! ERGH! Crap! Not there! IIIIP!" Ganondorf shouted in pain as Pink-

Link stabbed more swords more quickly in the box-

I mean Link for Ganondorf's sake, was impaling the box with sword.

I forgot to mention what the box looked like. Well, it had blue dots, and the box was red. Their was text on one of the dots saying, "Don't put a blade through the dots, it will severely injure the poor sap inside." Apparently Link read the dot, and was releasing the stress of his ruined day on Ganondorf.

Though he wasn't going to be the only one relieving rage on someone else.

"CCCCRRRRAAAAZZZZYYY HHHHAAAANNNNDDDD!" two voices of great power were heard from the sky, and everyone stopped dancing. Tabuu took the opritunity to warp out of the lawn, and leave everyone to their fate. I think I'll join him, good-bye.

(Story narration goes to Smash Knight 23)

Meters above the sky, me and Master Hand looked down at the lawn and patio of the mansion. people from town, and all of the smashers were looking up at us in confusion. Crazy Hand, on the other hand (Pun not intended if this was one), was now cowarring under the rubble on the wooden stage. Link, Mario, Captain Falcon (Who was sleeping), Samus and Pikachu (Who only had his tail visible) were pink. King DeDeDe was girggling in a cup, and it looks like Sonic died with all of the "Death of the Annoying Hedgehog" pbanners all over the place. Their was even a Sonic piniata that had the stuffing beaten out of it, and it wasn't candy, and it wasn't made of paper and glue. It looked like a real hedgehog that they dressed up as Sonic, and painfully and cruely beat the life out of it. Link was stabbing mercylessly at a box, with Ganondorf crying inside.

I was able to escape with my new f-

"Little brother?" Tabuu came out of nowhere as he held a picture that looked almost like me. Now that I look at myself, I have the same wings as Tabuu.

"No, I'm not your brother dumbo," I burned the photo and Tabuu looked down at the charred remains of the picture, "That is a photo that Captain Falcon made after I banned alcohall on the mansion grounds- is that beer I see down there?"

Falco and Fox put their hands behind their backs, "...No?"

"Wait, I don't have a brother," Tabuu chuckled, still with some icy cold fear in it, and warped away.

Master Hand was scoping the area for his brother. I found him before the bombs almost blasted him to pieces.

Sonic's trophy landed on my head, and he came back to life. Looking down, and seeing the banners, Sonic...

"Now I'll show you! AAAHH!" Sonic used his final smash on all of the stand still party goers.

Ignoring the dismembered bodies and trophies, we finally located Crazy Hand, who tried to sneak out of the area holding a Bunery.

"AAAHH! Let me go!" Crazy hand flailed along with the Bunery thrashing around to escape Crazy Hand grip.

"Hmmmm," I thought of a way to torture Crazy, while dodging flying bodies, and dealing with a strange pain in my wings. They hurt ever since they appeared and cut the Chains of Light. I turned to Link, "What in god's, Hera's, Arceus's, and Palutina's name are you doing?"

"Relieving stress on Ganondorf," Link responded as another scream came from Ganondorf.

"Ah-ha!" Master Hand pointed at the box, and I openned the box, relieving a Ganondorf that looked more like a Porky-pine, "In you go!" Master Hand tossed the Hand of Destruction, and the helpless Bunery inside the box.

"Help!" Crazy Hand shouted to a bunch of bodies and trophies.

"Bun!" Bunery screamed to the same people.

"Can we borrow some swords?" Mh and me asked to the pink swordsman.

Link handed us a sword, and we began the stab fest.

"AAAHH, Dizzy, Bun, GaHH, OOF, Nery, AAAAAAHHH!"

The poor saps in the box were mercylessly stabbing the three, until...

"Finally!" the hat exclaimed, "A rabit!"

Pikachu, who was still pink, held proudly in his hand, Kirby wearing a bunny hood.

I stopped and had my mouth wide open, "Pikachu, only a moron would bel-"

"Yawn," I was cut off by Captain Falcon, who glanced passed all the dead bodies, "Hey, Pikachu finally did it!"

I flew over to CF, and lifted and carried him into the box.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Now four screams were heard inside.

"?" Pikachu and Kirby just looked confused at the carnage.

"Want pie?" Kirby broke the 4 second silence when his tummy rumbled for the 189 time today.

"Sure," Pikachu responded as both walked into the mansion.

--------------

I am Tabuu! I always wondered who was brave enough to take the Master Sword, and put it somewhere else. We lose the Master sword in A Link to the Past, getting the Golden Sword. I think the Great Fairy picks up the wrong sword when you throw in the advance Master Sword.

They must sell Hyrule Extras when Link accidently drops his sword in a large pit.

Of course I'm kidding. I'm just nervous of tomorrow.

I don't know if the doctors are going to open my eye up, but it is just for a CB scrub to remove Calcium that is trapped in my eye.

Most likely, if they gas me, I will have a weird dream to type about.

Read and Review. I'm running out of requests. Thank you!


End file.
